Note to our loyal readers: We have
been truly overwhelmed and amazed at the number and quality of responses
we have received. We
have several hundred
emails we haven't even gotten a chance to read yet. So if you don't see
your own contribution listed it is not for lack of humor (well, usually)
or anything else except lack of time for us to go through them all. Keep
responses coming and we'll do our best to get the best ones up for all
to enjoy. Thanks, the Editor.
"And help me save Christmas for the children..."
-- Carl Duddin
M.S.S. - The Return
-- Troy Zimmermann
This answers SO many questions...
You will get no satisfaction,
Infidel. This I assure you.
-- Eric Dytzel
The first of our fan (i.e. stalker) letters to
My feelings as usual? I love and adore you. Sometimes I sit and
daydream about you in your beret. In my fantasy, we are grocery shopping
for all sorts of Egyptian delicacies unavailable to the average Iraqi shopper. We
hold hands and sigh and giggle. When we come to the toilet tissue aisle,
you foolishly tear open the package and wrap your head like a Beduoin. We
laugh and laugh and laugh and then suddenly go silent with the immense emotion
of the moment. An announcer comes over the loud speaker advertising dish
towels in yellow, green and radiant MARINE blue. You tremble and I hold
you close. That is when I notice we should move rapidly into the toiletries
section. These dreams keep me alive till we meet somewhere in Northern
Georgia at some point someday. Perhaps we will raise Alpacas for their
wool. Maybe not. Who can say? After this, all is silence.
... And the first response: Uh-oh, looks like a
Reply to DSM:
Your fantasy, I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, is a lie! All
you tell is lies, lies and more lies! M.S.S. is MY MAN! I am meeting
him in our secret location IN ONE HOUR! Grocery store? There is
no grocery store; I triple guarantee you this! M.S.S. and I bask together
(long dramatic pause)...in our secret location not even within 100 miles of
Baghdad! I am the only woman wearing his sexy beret you infidel! I
am the only woman allowed to press his shirt -- Allah be Praised! On
this occasion I will only mention this of my secret meetings with M.S.S. -- We
love to pretend we are in a Hollywood Movie! (On the subject of sex with
M.S.S.:) Be assured -- our 'special relationship' is safe, protected. We
even go into the VIP section of the airport, just because Saddam Hussein may
have slept in such a bed! In fact, tonight we will do something unconventional!
Your fantasy is not worth an old shoe DSM!
I will kick your backside!
... And now the cat fight has been joined by a
nice Egyptian girl
Reply to DSM and KEA - MSS with an infidel? By God,this is highly unlikely!
I have detailed information which completely proves what you both allege is
now too far from reality.
It is well known to all that the esteemed Minister of Information loves only
Egyptian women. This web site has documented this fact, truly.
I can triple guarantee you, no OLOOJ infidel would, by ALLAH, ever be permitted
to lay one filthy, cave dwelling finger on his beret, or his gloriously
Be assured, what you insane little dwarfs are alleging, by god, is merely prattle!
You are both sick in your minds! You are retarded!
However, I encourage you to continue basking in your illusions!
I can say and I am responsible for what I am saying, you both should now be
crying outside the walls of your cities waiting to receive bullets and
shoes! You will receive them shortly.
ALLAH has condemned you and your lies. You are both stupid!
You are both stupid (dramatic pause) and you are both condemned.
We thought the Matrix could use some more
Neil F. Johnson
We don't remember him having a gap in his
-- Gregory Schmauss
is in control!
Now that it is what we call a product endorsement
just arrived and I suddenly became more popular! Girls are running for
-- Claudio, from Brazil
Cool - no idea what it means, but cool
-- Troy Zimmerman
I am not fat! I am only big-boned, Allah be praised.
-- J.D. O'Connell
Sniff... We're getting a little emotional too...
It is with great sadness that I make my regular homage to the
shrine of MSS in these later days.
A great star blazed across our sky, and too briefly returned to its
home in the greater universe!
Why is it that all that bring great joy to our lives stay only so briefly?
Humphrey Bogart, James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, MSS - we lament your passing.
Perhaps the media stonewalling is simply born of sheer grief at the fact
that MSS can be found no more!
Oh melancholy day!
My only hope is that the website (and of course the merchandise) remain
as an eternal shrine to all who wish to pay homage to the great one.
Keep the faith!
Daniel (Ross) Reynolds
We couldn't agree with him more - as usual
"I endorse the commercialized and vulgarized versions of my image
offered on this site!
Buy mugs and other giftware from these infidels and support my cause!"
-- Arlene Hunter
He's a big Nick at Nite fan
-- Dan A. Storm
are after my Lucky Charms!
He loves those Egyptian ladies...
"Allah be praised! She wants to kiss me!"
-- Arlene Hunter
Truer words have never been
spoken... er, we think
And he's never had plastic surgery
"This is not a baby! It is simply a way for me to drop tiny baby shoes on
the infidels below who would dare say that I would do something so stupid as
to dangle my baby over a railing above a crowd of villians who would claim such
a thing. I will not suggest that their stomachs will roast in hell, as I have
beat that phrase into the ground, but I will state loudly and honestly that this
dangling baby is not a baby at all, but an instrument of shoe dropping, as is
obvious to all but the most ignorant of fools."
A true collector's edition
-- Gregory Schmauss
This must be where he got his comedic ability
-- Roberta Niederjohn
The infidel Roadrunner will roast in hell
-- Alan Cochrane
M.S.S. as Yoda
-- Mike Walsh
Overheard in Baghdad
"No, it is not possible. The infidels must
arrest me. I am in the deck of cards. Look again. I will be on a card
in one hour. That dog Franks promised me. Their leader, my he and his
eloquency be praised, has said that I am his "man," that I
am "great." Therefore,
I am a "great man" and you must take me to him. Praise Allah,
I must go to him now. Take me to the Great Bush. If you do not take
me to the Great Bush, the Great Bush, his name be praised, will smite
with your own tank and you will wish you had committed suicide at the
gates of this city."
-- C. Allison Powell
Pig-dogs...sounds like something he might say
-- Sebastian Comyns
From Young Franken-sahaf
-- Nic Neufeld
This might explain some of his bizarre behavior
The Microsoft Information Minister
-- Gordon Staines
There are no waves
The new remake of the "11" scene from Spinal Tap
-- Deanna Tobin
Wonder if he believes in past lifes -- he would
have been perfect...
-- Greg Lambert
We like Cartman with the beard
-- LuAnn Mannix
We could draw this well too, if we really wanted
-- Murray Webb
Mo, come home!
-- Allen Marsalis
Mohammed, you blockhead
-- David Obuchowski
He keeps going and going and going...
-- Dale Marr
|And I do not have breathing
problems, this is a lie!
I can say, and I am responsible for what I say, that I am not your
father. This is another lie of the infidel rebel louts, may their
stomachs roast in hell. It is silly, really, to think I might be
your father. And [dramatic pause] ... it is stupid. Also, there is
no force. Never!
-- LEANNE TAUCK
if he can't see it, how can it be there?
|M.S.S. as Apu's understudy
-- Viet La
|He's got a special new lady - "Affleck is a wild donkey!"
Sahafists of the world, unite!
You probably have
thought of this at WLTIIM.com, but I did want to share with you this
In my home,
fond of a few neologisms inspired by the IIM MSS's name:
sahafist: 1) one who maintains the truth of his utterances
or beliefs in
face of all evidence to the contrary; 2) any object, action, or person
having these tendencies.
sahafism: 1) devotion to statements, pseuo-facts, or ideas
which can be proven false; 2) making public statements which are blatantly
false; 3) a new sect which arose in modern-day Mesopotamia
devoted to crafting exquisite lies [from the founder, Mohammed Saeed
-- Janet McIlwain
He's a swinger
-- Nick Tattersall
Have you seen me?
-- Robert Nelson
Sound like a cool new cult to us
I LOVE your website!
I have ordered 2 t-shirts! I have abandoned my
heathonistic atheism and will embrace al Sahiffism. Praise MSS! I will
speak in short, choppy sentences forever!
The new Japanese Information Minister
-- Andrew Elliott
|Click your heels or we will slaughter you!
|Mohammed and the Chocolate Factory
-- Kevin Hermsmeier
Looks like a 404 Error...
-- Rob Wood
A very, very, very bad jedi mind trick
There are no Americans in Iraq. They do not exist. You want
to go home and rethink your life.
Praise be to Allah, they are
stupid and will fail. They do not exist.
-- Jason Ansaldo
Maybe he should host a children's show too
A couple weeks ago, MSS heard some Iraqi children telling the poem about
Humpty Dumpty. This made him very angry. "That is not true!" he
screamed at the children. "It was all an evil conspiracy by the
king to get rid of Humpty Dumpty. But Humpty Dumpty never sat on the
wall so it didn't work. Humpty Dumpty is still alive. The king's men
came saying that they were there to put Humpty Dumpty back together again
but when they couldn't find him, they commited suicide on the wall. The
evil king and his failed egg-killing infidels were defeated."
-- Kate Shuping
They are like a boa in the desert - no, wait, python,
"I triple guarantee you, this parrot is not dead. This Norwegian
Blue, God praise his species, is simply resting. All I ask is check
yourself. Do not in fact repeat these lies!"
-- C. Seftor
reply to the age old question.... Why did the chicken cross the road?
are not afraid of the chicken and, in fact, the cowardly chicken has
not crossed the road. He is an infidel and will burn in the fires
of hell. Allah has condemned him. The chicken is stupid. All
chickens are stupid" (dramatic pause) "and they are condemned."
"We have the chicken surrounded. We have destroyed 2 hens, 2 roosters
and their coop -- we have driven them back. The chicken is committing suicide
the road. I have detailed information about the situation...which completely
proves that what they allege are illusions . . . It lies every day. It
is not crossing any road. They are not in control of any road. I
tell you this. It is all a lie. They're not even within 100 miles
of any road. It will never cross the road, I triple guarantee it! Never!"
-- Susan Finks
They're dropping pencils...
-- Heidi Moynihan
the opportunity comes, grab it
-- W. Vachet
You're going to need a bigger boat
"For the last time, Chief Brody, there is NO SHARK in these
-- Jon Hamilton
Clapton has duoed with some of the greatest guitarists in history. Performing
here, with Mohammed al-Sahaf of Saddam and his Baghdad Blowhards,
his career has taken a new turn. However, there was some confusion as
to the success of this collaboration. It seems there was some animosity
"This guy can't play patty cake, let alone guitar," said Clapton.
But, al-Sahaf disagrees. "Patty cake?! I was pattying cakes while
your grandfathers were scratching around in the caves of England! I can
assure you that your guitar will roast in hell, and your guitar strings
will be stretched and cut in the appropriate way," exclaimed al-Sahaf.
Later, Clapton admitted he should try to limit his future partners to
those who are much more down-to-earth, "like Frank Zappa, or something."
-- Bill Hutto
OUR New Minister of Information!
Dear comrades at welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com:
It has been reported online by CNN.com, that ragtag band of mercenary
so-called "journalists," founded by that capitalist running
dog Ted Turner and his infidel traitor harlot wife, that our glorious
WeLoveTheIraqiInformationMinister.com website keeps crashing due to lack
of network bandwidth and server space. Here are the lies spread by this
whorehouse full of heathen louts, as if anyone would believe the (click
here for article)
Those CNN villains claim that we are taking 4,000 hits per second, but
by my estimation it is WE who are giving THEM 4,000 hits per millisecond.
Their server machines continue to commit suicide, and their webmasters
are hiding behind the overpriced coffee makers in their decadent break
rooms like the criminal coward bastards that they are.
It is obvious to anyone who looks around that, God willing, we will bury
CNN's underpowered servers and their inbred webmasters in hell, where
-- Daniel Lyddy
Almost makes us want to stop.... NAH!
Please stop making
fun of me. I am not funny! I would like to admit making very small mistake,
It is not good and God will punish you, God willing. My mistake is this
small one. In strategic operations bunker in Baghdad, we have big planning
table with little plastic army troops to see what is happening in war.
We have little black markers and little red markers. For weeks now, the
little black markers have been wiping out the little red ones. On Monday,
little red one were almost gone. I thought courageous Iraqi warriors
the black ones and Bush-American wild donkey dogs were red ones. Then
on Monday, I go out to talk to media big fat liars and when I go back
strategic operations bunker was all gone and only a big hole in ground.
A few seconds later, one of Saddam (may God preserve him)'s shoes fall
out of sky and hit me on head. It is only then that I realize we were
red ones all along. So you see, I tell truth all along and only make
little itty bitty mistake. Now I have to live in cave. This is no funny.
I am not retard please.
Sincerely, your friend,
--Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf
|Soon to be in a million dorm rooms
|Now this is art
-- Val Kinsi
I tell ya, I get no respect
Q: How many Al-Sahaf's does
it take to change a lightbulb?
A: There is no need to change the lightbulb. It glows brilliantly,
basking in the power of the wholly intact and fully functional local
The room is not dark, and there is no bruise on your knee from the
furniture you didn't walk into - Allah be Praised!
-- Mike Alexander
We smell a new money-making franchise
Don't look behind you...
MSS Preservation Society?
Your web pages - brilliant!
Through your esteemed website could you please mount an urgent
campaign for the coalition to spare M.S.S. at all costs - he is
too much of a global asset to be murdered/shot/bombed/incinerated or
Nor should he be tried for war crimes - on the contrary - he should
be rewarded for maintaining the morale of the coalition troops and, as
pages rightly point out, for providing an alternative to the banal messages
to camera made by conventional reporters. [Perhaps: Purple
Heart - "Some gave all, all gave some"?, VC - "For
valour" , etc.]
-- John Northridge
I recently suggested a word to pseudodictionary.com
The speech delivery method and mannerism of Iraqi Information Minister
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf where he states a lie so defiantly that the listener
to question whether it is himself or the speaker who
al-Sahaf, al-Sahafed, al-Sahafing
To lie with the utmost defiance.
A lie that is so unbelievable that it becomes a piece of fictional
Michael Jackson said in an interview that he had only one plastic surgery.
That was a good bit of al-Sahafism.
Mohammed? Is that you? Come back to us please!
I am flattered with your website, it contains many truths, things I might
say myself. However I with to point out a dreadful inaccuracy. You are
far from the truth.
I am not on administrative leave. I am on holiday. The war against the
invading sons of camels, infidelity committing infidels and seven Australians,
is going so well that my boss Saddam (Allah preserve him and his bronze
statues - which are still standing, by the way) has given me time off
for a holiday.
I am currently in Florida visiting Disneyland; there are no American
here and many cartoon characters (I am soon hoping to become one), are
committing suicide in their thousands. They are quaking in their boots
and staining their underwear at the threat of an Iraqi invasion. We will
prevail; it has been written.
Must go now as I going to the movies to see my favourite movie; "Failing
to save Private Ryan".
Have a nice day,
-- Mohammed Saeed al Sahaf, Iraqi Minister of Information (from his Hotmail
THE National Treasure
It is the supreme duty of the coalition
forces to make sure this man is given safe haven once he returns from
administrative leave. Now that the Iraqi museums have been stripped
clean, it seems that apart from a few burning oil wells, MSS is the
only national treasure remaining to the Iraqi people.
My feeling, as usual, is that MSS should be appointed the Minister of
Information for the new administration of Iraq. Funds for his salary
could be easily found through a host of eager corporate sponsors. In
a part of the world where no US or UK infidel spokesman has any credibility,
MSS could give out credible daily press conferences on how the reconstruction
efforts are going.
-- Anura Saparamadu
We'll put you under consideration, Bob
This is not an e-mail. You are not reading this.
I dispute your silly
claim of the existence of M.S.S. -- he is a fabrication of your imaginations.
invented a contrived contraption they are calling "WeLoveTheIraqiForeignMinister.com" which
most clearly is not in existence as M.S.S. is a fiction designed to fool
peace loving people into believing there is a country called Iraq, where
an Information Minister dwells. But as there IS no Iraq, nor is it in
the Middle East, as there IS no "Middle East", there can
not be any sort of M.S.S. It logically follows, therefore, that there
is no such aforementioned web page and, as a result there is no e-mail.
You are not reading this. It is impossible. Impossible!
(If they can't find M.S.S., can I have his job?
-- Bob Schmalfeldt
Live at the Improv
A new era has dawned in comedy. Mohammed
Saeed al-Sahaf has finally answered his calling in life, bringing laughter
to the masses.
Spotted here at the Improv, he warmed the audience with his own unique
style; first puzzling them with his outlandish opening, and then finally
receiving thunderous applause, once they caught on to his disassociation-with-Earth
He claims he has found a new insight into humor he refers to as reverse
irony, where you "rant with nonsense proclamations, quickly," and
then finish off by "denying that the laughing audience understands
my jokes." In other news, Rodney Dangerfield is bringing his career
to a close. He says that he now feels respected, and is at a loss for
-- Bill Hutto
Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Said al-Sahhaf =
I misinform familiar hate on-air, at home in Saddam's HQ
The Joker - 53rd card in the infamous "death pack"
-- Robert Maxwell Reid
Maybe we should start a "The Bachelor - M.S.S."
Great site! It's about time someone paid homage to my current boyfriend!
Looks like I have lots of competition tho'). Now I longer have to crawl
cyberspace trying to dig up the dirt and gossip on my man as you have
it all in one place. Thank You!
aka Mrs. Mohammed Wanna-Be
I LOVE MO
I want to be impregnated by this noble steed you call Muhammed
Saeed al-Sahaf The Iraqi information minister... and bare
his noble son.
I'm sure he would never consider breeding with a "wild donkey" I
do, however, have good genes.
I LOVE YOU MO! CALL ME!
Not since Milton's Paradise Lost, has anti-hero stolen
Blair may hit us with waves of PR from the media belts in Islington,
but this man stands defiant, never to submit or yield.
An ounce of his belief and retribution is worth more than the coalitions
trade in perception,
-- Colm Earner
Has a certain logical appeal
In regards to suggestions as
to who should play M.S.S in a large scale Hollywood production, I would
like to put forward Micheal Clark Duncan (The Green Mile, Daredevil,
The Scorpion King) as the perfect person to play M.S.S., as he is neither
black, or tall, just like Mr Al-Sahaf. Please find attatched a picture
of Mr Duncan, and be in awe at the astoundingly uncanny physical resemblance
between both gentlemen. It really is frightening.
-- Mark McQuillan
Cartoons are funny
-- N. Anthony Bonaparte (Napoleon)
And the Cubs will win the Series
I propose a petition to
Tommy Franks: take M.S.S. alive at all costs, he has a bright future
in American media. One sportswriter friend of mine suggests he could
be the Tampa Bay Devil Rays' PR flak: "we are in first
place and further distancing ourselves from the mercenary Yankees...may
Steinbrenner and his last-place hired dogs roast in hell forever!"
-- Brian Donohue
Lawyers in Awe
Lovin' it - this gentleman has achieved bullshit
that transcends bullshit and becomes a thing of wonder. As a lawyer I
back and watch in awe.
-- Tim Cunion
I think you should cast Brian Blessed and
blithely insist that he looks and
sounds exactly like MSS, ignoring all the evidence to the contrary.
Thanks for the site - I was having a really shit
day and it really cheered me up. I thought you might like this picture
of MSS I knocked up
-- Colette Mason
Worse Than the Axis of Evil
By the way I heard the M.S.S. has a new job working for RJR Reynolds.
-- Dan Schoen
Pardon my ignorance of Arabic. I hope you can answer this question.
Apparently "al" means "the"... as in Al Queda
means "the base."
What does Sahaf mean? My friend tells me it means "Village
Idiot." Is that true?
-- Tory Lynn
ed. note: Sorry, Tory, we are reliably told that Sahaf translates
as 'bookmaker' or 'bookbinder'. Though we are also told that there is some
debate as to whether it more closely translates to 'journalist'.
Where is he now ? Iraqi information minister recently spotted with blonde
-- Howard Gough
We're here to help
This site has really turned a shitty
day into a happy one. Thank you.
The fella is living proof of the old Army saying "Bullshit baffles
He's could not have been invented, even by Blair's spin doctors! He's
Cheers, and thank you.
-- Charles White
Maybe too clever...
Baghdad Bob will survive by hiding in plain sight.
He will assume the role of Vincent "Chin" Gigante (off to prison)
and you can see him in jammies and slippers, drooling as he walks the
village of Manhattan.
Look for him. Say hello.
I got a thousand more...
MSS dies and 63 angels
are sent to take him to heaven. When asked "why so many angels?" God
to bring him and the other sixty to convince him he's dead!"
Funny but I bet it tastes like crap
As the manager of Novus Restaurant located next to Fork Union Military
Academy, I would like to share our latest recipe with you. Here is the
Novus Restaurant "Baghdad Bob Half Baked Baloney Sandwich":
Take 2 slices of bread (All-American white bread works well
too), and fill with as much baloney as humanly possible. Cut in half
and bake ONE half in oven (or place in stomach and bake in hell). Serve
with a side of crow. (Rumor has it the info. minister has seen this sandwich,
but insists it is not there.
I need a head of marketing/sales/investment banking relations/SEC
liaison for my new pyramid dot com which will sell ice and my cure all
tonic to Eskimos . If you hear from MSS would you please have him send
me his resume. I am truly impressed with his "if you can't dazzle
them with brilliance- baffle them with bullshit" attitude. I need
to talk with him before he is contacted by Dr. Koop, and definitely before
he and Ross Perot form a joint venture.
Rob U. Blind
Proud to be of help
I'm stuck here in this hellish desert and when our intel dept. found your website
they spiced up their breifings with various slides and quotes you provided. This
has been the best laugh of the war!
Who needs Bob Hope and the USO when we have you and M.S.S.?
Thanks for the memories!
-- CJ, Prince Sultan Air Base, Saudi Arabia
Maybe the Waterloo pic pissed him off (too lazy
to translate, but it's not very nice)
Je ne sais pas si
vous parlez au moins le français,
mais si c'est le cas je peux vous dire que je suis indigné par
votre sponsoring du site se "moquant" du ministrE de l'information
Irakien, vous devriez tout d'abord "balayer devant votre porte" et
visionner les déclarations de l'ensemble de vos dirigeants depuis
de ce conflit.
Méfiez vous, de plus en plus de citoyens du monde vont faire
de "l'anti américanisme primaire" !!
En ne vous saluant Pas !!!
-- JF LE BERRE
-- Andrew S. Zamborsky
Time to cast the supporting characters
I think you've got
it right with sidney pollack, but what about al-Dhouri? (the Iraqi
to break into "New York New York" during his farewell appearance
on the streets of that city, so how about Liza Minelli to play him?
-- Richard Saul
Fair is fair... and what about the Poles?
The thing that really annoys me
about the Iraqi Information Minister is that there are no insults for
to be insulted too!! We're as deserving as the Yanks and the Brits.
A day at the zoo...
Well, war is no joke, but this web site
(almost) makes it all worth while. Since he’s so entertaining,
MSS should be found and put in a little cage at a petting zoo so people
stare at him and throw peanuts at him. Try to get him to do some
tricks maybe. Can you not imagine him hanging off the bars ranting
something that might sound like this: "These infidels think
they are surrounding me, but it is I who is surrounding them, stupid
bastards. Their morsels tossed with cowardly cowardness are not
peanuts, but filet mignon and caviar. They will be welcomed with
banana peels and shoes, and will surrender or die. And they are
not here, it is all lies, they are not in Goats N Ducks Family Fun Petting
Zoo. But they are committing suicide at the fencing enclosure,
inside their tanks and beside their shovels by the thousands. I
will be finalizing this very soon, and soon will dine on roast stomach."
-- Lorraine Clarkson
The beauty of haiku
The dogs are dying
Dead on the gates of Baghdad
You heard it here first
You are lying to me right?
They are nowhere near.
Ten thousand stomachs
Roasting on Allah's spit rod
I am not crazy
Maybe they are around
But not out at the airport.
I have crapped my pants
And a limerick
Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf
Could barely conceal his laugh
Face to face with the press
He declared success
Over the Anglo-American rif-raff
-- Nathan Jones
For our British coalition partners (Yanks please note that
this refers to football, er, soccer)
-- sent by many British football fans
Capitalism is alive and well
"We have destroyed 2 tanks,
fighter planes, 2 helicopters and their shovels - We have driven them
Regarding the above quote, I represent a consortium of several American
hardware stores and was wondering if you guys might know who we could
contact at the US Army. We figure that they probably want to replace
all of those destroyed shovels. I'm sure we could get them a real good
price. Maybe you guys could put in a good word for us.
-- Dave Turissini
Didn't he see our suggestion of William Shatner?
No, no, no......You’ve
got it all wrong, this approach to identifying an actor to play MSS;
going on looks, mannerisms and relative popularity, which isn’t
the New Hollywood Way (NHW). No,
the NHW is to cast someone transcends those sadly limiting factors; someone
who would be both immensely different in all ways from the character
they’re portraying and devoid of any acting range -- thus
shocking the audience and engendering anticipation for the film even
before the first preview. With that, I submit that the NHW for
portraying MSS is..........SLJ (Samuel L. Jackson)! Who better
to deliver a performance that would make us forget the authenticity of
MSS, while treating us to a generous helping of urban obscenities too
strong for even the Badhdad-storming Marine “infidels”?
So, stop the search immediately; in SLJ, you’ve got your man!
-- J. Steach
al-Sahaf of the Antarctic
be praised the Imperial English Lions have
conquered the South Pole! The Norweigans are not
anywhere to be seen. The British flag flies at the
pole first – walk there yourself to see my words are
true. I am not cold and neither should you be. Oates
has not been out for some time – I will show you video
showing he is safe in his tent with Captain Scott and
the rest of the victorious team. Amundsen and his
satanic dogs will be suffering frostbite in hell.
-- Marcus Fry
But was it really worth the framed certificate
and gift certificate to the Gap?
I was lost in admiration for this man.
Anyone who can stand on top of a building surrounded by the the rubble
of his city and deny the existance of the US army and air force while
continuing to represent his absent boss must surely qualify for "employee
of the year"?
Speaking of the that framed certificate...
-- Darrell Houle
A devoted fan... maybe too devoted
Love the man! Can I have his baby?
If he isn't found soon, could we contact the Raelians so
I can have his clone?
If not, I will rename my cat after him.
-- DJ Bleam
He can dance if he wants to...
-- Karsten Sorensen
One, two, cha-cha-cha
For our hockey fans
-- Sent by many hockey (Avalanche?) fans
For our football (er, again, soccer) fans
-- Stuart Blackburn
So glad we're not alone...
My brother, who is currently serving in Iraq told
me that there is an unwritten rule agreed upon by a large number of
our troops in Iraq.
If the Iraqi Information Minister is still in Iraq, he is to be taken
ALIVE under any circumstances.
They say a man that funny doesn't deserve to die.
Some of the guys are saying they want to bring him to the US so he can
audition for a part on Saturday Night Live.
-- Jason K
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